Four year old imagination:

"Greta: Jim, are you finished eating?"
"Jason: Yes Greta, I am."
" Greta: I'm NOT Greta, I am Arena Mae, this is my baby Tiny Tim (Her doll Hannah) and this is my brother Crint (Charlie). My mother (Liz)is Crank and you (dad) are Jim. Any questions?"
"Um no; at least my name is not Crank."
"No, but you are married to her."
"Right you are Arena Mae."

Catching up

We took our very first road trip. 3,300 miles with the kids through Iowa (nothing to report), Nebraska (Motel 6 was a luxurious respite from the moonless nighttime monotony).
We arrived in Denver shortly into our second day. The kids were great. It was at the motel 6 the night before when we decided that we would always stay at a hotel with a pool. This was the bare minimum requirement and one that would save us many late nights with stir crazy car bound kids. It is a little known fact that swimming pools have been known to tire children out at a rate 15% faster than screaming at them does. These statistics are enough proof for me. We also discovered at the next hotel that a "suite" is another way to spell "lasting marriage". We insisted on a suite thereon.
When we arrived in Denver we called the Hampton inns and Suites. This location was a highlight of our vacation due to my sister living relatively close to the hotel. Rebecca and her husband Tim are truly are the most gracious hosts and the most niece and nephew-centric people we know. I would love them to have children now, but if they can't, they are welcome to have ours. We spent some quality time at the the hotel defending ourselves from a nest of Pigeons and their defensive cock on our balcony. Every time we opened the door to the balcony, swoosh in came the male and in went our party.
We had a nice picnic in Denver, spent some quality time at the Brunetto residence, had some mediocre Sushi, went to a retro candy making factory, saw a great upscale grocery store that in its greenness would make Al Gore proud, (I loathe the man) Had a great picnic at a local park, went to Boulder for some outstanding micro-brew (I could live there if I didn't loathe Al Gore who seems to be revered as a god both there and everywhere west).

Next stop was Santa Fe.

Wow. Santa Fe is spectacular. It is an arid great-lakeless Tex-Mex Bayfield Wisconsin. We arrived at a recommended B&B where we had made a reservation. The B&B was obviously nice once, but as the owners aged, so did the establishment. We were shown to our room which though large, was tired. The proprietor handed us the key and left us to ourselves. We were exhausted. The drive from Denver to Santa Fe is long and with two young kids is very long.
We didn't need any surprises.
As we explored the room we discovered that more than just tired, our room was dirty. Two pubic hairs in the sink, an unidentifiable smear on a wall, a small raised dirt shoe track in the middle of the room, a slightly ruffled coverlet. Questions came to our tired minds like, were the sheets even relatively clean, were those really pubes, why were they in the sink? Was the bed made this week, this month, what was in that closet that we couldn't open? Why did the room have shag carpeting, can shag be clean? What was that yellow wet looking chunk in the carpeting, and avoiding the chunk, was it otherwise alright to go barefoot?

Twenty uncomfortable minutes later (Thanks to Liz for getting us out of our deposit at the B&B) we arrived at the AAA emergency-line recommended Inn of the Governors. Night and day. We were greeted with a glass of sherry, cinnamon cookies for the kids, and were escorted to the best room of our trip. The porter showed us where we could find the firewood for our in room kiva fireplace and showed us our robes for the heated outdoor pool. No pubes in the sink, check. No yellow chunks, check. No shag carpeting, check.
The Inn of the Governors is two blocks from the plaza which is the shopping, art and restaurant center of Santa Fe. We ate some outstanding Southwestern cuisine, sampled the regional red and green chili sauces and for the most part had a great time. We were given some great dining recommendations by a local artist Roger Wilber who is a friend of a friend and who's art is second to none in the famous galleries of Santa Fe. Although we didn't have a chance to see Roger himself, we were shown some of his jewelry which is the best we saw in the city.
We will return to Santa Fe someday soon.
Tulsa OK, Amarillo TX, and finally Kansas city MO rounded out the trip. Kansas city was nice. Some highlights include Oklahoma Joe's in Kansas City, Kansas, The Hallmark Museum, and the Plaza.

What else...
Yesterday we returned from a week in Ft. Myers. We went with my in laws and the kids.
The weather was perfect, and well, we survived. Our room is right on the water and we had a school of dolphin and a group of Manatees right outside the window. We spent time on Sanabel and Captiva, enjoyed the beach and didn't strangle each other. Amazing, everyone had a pretty good time! The highlight of the trip for me was going to Ft Lauderdale for the day to visit with my Grandparents, Aunt and Cousins. We spent a good part of the day in Ft Lauderdale at my Grandparents house visiting Marybeth, Kathy, and Kathy's kids Michael, Joseph and Taylor who are about the sweetest and most well behaved kids you could meet. We look forward to them visiting Minnesota soon!

I could go on and on, but then what would I have to say next year when I update?

Updates

A big thanks to my Aunt Bernadette without whom I would not be up past my bedtime (10:00) trying to think of something halfway witty to write. Your compliments made my day!


I would like to appease my wife's pleasant pleading and update this blog. In no particular order I present a few highlights of the past year.

This summer our family spent a good deal of time at my parents cabin in Deerwood, MN. This is a rustic and historical home circa 1900 once was inhabited by a well reputed local character and Colonel who fought in WW1. The house was also said to be an important fur trading post with the Ojibwa Indians of the Mille Lacs region.

Early this summer we had my father's Cousin Tom and his family visit from Georgia. We all went up north to the cabin and got to know each other a little better. Earlier in the year Tom's brother Bob (possibly my second cousin once removed... I never really understand how that works) died somewhat unexpectedly.

He was a great person and is well missed.

The underlying idea behind the family visit was to bury a portion of Bob's cremated ashes on the family property. This was presumably how Bob might have wanted it. Bob was an avid fisherman and weeks before he died he made plans to visit the cabin for some bass fishing. He even made plans to leave his small fishing boat with us as he found it too difficult to navigate such a small boat on his home-lake Michigan.
We decided on a tree planting memorial ceremony and chose a beautiful breezy summer evening. Each of us took turns with a shovel and dug a large hole where the ashes would be buried beneath the roots of the tree. With the hole dug we took turns emptying a small portion of Bob's ashes into the prepared ash-hole. Most people are not comfortable putting things into an ash-hole especially a family member's ash-hole; yet as I stood there on that summer evening it just felt right.

At one point during the burial our Greta was standing near the lakeside of the burial tree. Unfortunately this was downwind. As each person took their turn and carefully placed a portion of Bob back to the earth, the wind seemed to catch and carry an equally proportionate amount of him over the lake in a billowing cloud. A billowing cloud that consumed an amused Greta who gleefully exclaimed with deep lung filling breaths, "Mmm...this is beautiful and it smells great...like pita bread!" When next we have pita bread I wonder if she will think it smells like Bob. As Rachel Ray would so wittingly say, "Yummo". Yummo indeed Rachel Ray.

With Bob buried and without further incident, we passed around a can of very old sun ripened "lite" style beer that was salvaged from deep within an interior compartment of Bob's former fishing boat. We tentatively cracked it open with thoughts of botulism and dysentery dancing in our heads. This can looked old. As though he were watching over us at that moment and protecting us from afar in his little brew-pub in heaven, I'll be dammed if that beer didn't still taste good. We shared half the can among us, and tipped the last half to the earth for Bob. Yummo.

We went to Chicago again this summer for a little family vacation. Our good friend Trina worked at the time for the Four Seasons Hotel and was able to get us her Friends and family discount. If you ever want to know to your core what it is like to be middle class just stay at the Four Seasons. I felt so out of place that I had to pretend in my mind that I was some eccentric rich person who shopped exclusively at Target only because I am a primary shareholder and I am fat only because of my feelings about the carbon footprint of liposuction. Actually we had a marvelous time and saw Chicago in grand style. A highlight for me was the Architectural Riverboat Cruise. It was so cool to see the city from the river. Greta ate Escargot for the first time at a French restaurant called Mon Ami Gabi. (Yummo) She thought she was so cool keeping up with the big people. Later that night the hotel delivered an ice cream man up to the room to make the kids sundaes. Prince Charles and Princess Greta were on cloud nine.

We suffered a loss this summer as a friend of Greta's died tragically. His name was Tommy and he was a perfect little boy. Following is an excerpt from an e-mail sent out shortly after the incident. It is truly heartbreaking. [Tommy was swimming at a man-made lake near Lake Minnetonka and must have gotten in too deep and no one ever saw him go under. He was recovered from the water approximately 10 minutes later and was rushed to the emergency room via helicopter. The doctors tried to revive him for over an hour with no success. My heart aches to tell you that Tommy passed away on July 27th, 2007. He was just 3.5 years old. For those of you that don't know Tommy well... he was so strong, so full of life, could walk into a room and immediately make himself known, he has a beautiful head of blond hair and awesome blue eyes. He is an amazing little boy who is going to be so deeply missed by all.] Make a point of saying a prayer or two for them this Christmas season.

Liz's sister Bev was diagnosed with Cancer several months ago as was a good friend of the family Sydney Tritle. Bev is in recovery mode and she just had her last run of Chemo last week. We pray that they got it all! Sydney is just starting her treatment after several surgery's to remove malignant cells. Our thoughts and prayers are with both of you!

Liz did something really cool this fall. A year ago I bought her a intro flight package at Thunderbird Aviation in Eden Prairie. When we arrived at the airport the pilot greeted us and asked if anyone else wanted to fly along as a passenger. Greta promptly raised her hand and was escorted to the backseat of the small plane. Once they did the ground check they were up in the air for just over a half hour. The coolest part was that Liz got to take off, fly the plane, and was given the opportunity to land which she understandably refused. Greta was flown over the Renaissance festival and Liz tipped the wing down so that Greta could get a good view of all of those weirdos at the fair.

After the flight, we joined the ranks of weirdos at the Renaissance fair and spent the rest of the day people watching the strangest group of people Minnesota has to offer. For some reason the Renaissance Festival attracts people who are just dying to dress up and are totally confused about how to go about doing this within the confines of the specific dates that define the Renaissance. This year I saw three Harry Potters, two scary ninjas, some sort of Animé Bear and truckloads of inappropriate flesh that made me wish this were the Islamic Burqa Fair instead. The highlight of this year's fair was Charlie and the elephants. I had never noticed them in years past, but the kids seemed excited so we strolled on over to get a closer look. Charlie couldn't quite see over the railing into the pen where the elephants were walking, so I lifted him up and set him on the top rail. A huge elephant walked right over to Charlie and stared him down. Charlie didn't waiver and stared right back at the huge mammal and smiled. The elephant rose his great trunk and standing nose to nose he very gently, delicately, and deliberately squeezed Charlie square in the middle of his face. Charlie was delighted, and with his face now brown and green and dripping elephant mucus, all Charlie knew or cared about was that he was kissed by an elephant.

Boobies!

Liz and I went Christmas shopping for the kids tonight at the Galleria and had Sushi at Crave which is decent, but not great. Service was arrogant and slow. Greta and I saw the movie Enchanted yesterday and loved it. Charlie has a runny nose like Niagara falls and I have have unintentionally eaten more of his snot kissing him than I ever imagined I could stomach. Greta (still) thinks she is Coolio and goes around the house singing 1,2,3,4, get your woman on the floor...she knows all the words. Yesterday morning at Target, Charlie walked past a big poster in the women’s section. The poster was a photo of a woman in a bra and panties. Charlie has about 15 words to his vocabulary, yet as we walked past the poster he pointed toward the woman in print and shared his sixteenth word loud enough to embarrass people in the next county, “BOOBIES!!!!” he yelled. I quickly walked toward the exit… secretly proud of my boy!




Next week: "How does one know when it is time to stop a child from nursing?"

763-867-5309

So today we (Charlie Greta and I) had a living room dance party. This is something I used to do when I was piss-drunk with a few like minded friends/relatives who might have names like Kati and Pete. Well today no alcohol was involved, but the dancing was just as clumsy. Classic 80's hits like Jenny-867-5309, Maniac, and Walk like an Egyptian could be heard bumpin' from my honky crib. I can only imagine that Snoop Dog does the exact same thing with his kids. Same music and everything.

Regarding dance, Greta is on a fast track to becoming the next female version of Barishnakov. As ballet is a predominantly female dance one could argue that I should learn the name of one female ballerina. But I will not. I dislike ballet, but when you have your own daughter out there in her leotard and tutu doing and understanding a demi-plié in a way that makes all the other girls look (more) like amateurs, a father can't help but feel a sense of pride and a slight tinge of "living vicariously" recalling his chilhood when he was strongly cautioned against donning a pair of ballet slippers when all of his relatively soon to be gay friends were dancing so... gaily.

Charlie has his own footballers style of dancing that involves strong Elaine-from-Sienfield thrusting and seemingly painful head banging against the carpet in sync with the coolie rhythm of Coolio.

Marine our French friend from faraway France will be here really soon! So far we have nothing concrete planned, but hey, Minnesota is a jet setters paradise with attractions like the Mall of America, Murphy's Landing, numerous corn mazes, Paul Bunyan Land, The Iron Range, and the list goes on and on. Just ask Garrison Keillor, he will explain it all to you in his condescending "brought to you by Powder Milk Biscuits in the big blue box" fashion that we all love.

On that note....

Summer School

My lovely wife insisted that I update my blog; so here goes.

Marine our French student will be coming to stay with us for another month in July. She is a glutton for punishment. We are planning on a trip while she is here; maybe Denver to see my sister Becca. Today we went to the Mill City Musuem's Farmers Market. Not a big fan of that one. It is sponsered by Archer Farms and the whole deal leaves a really commercial taste in your mouth. Plus you have to pay 5.00+ for parking. The Star Trib did a write up this week on how wonderful the market is, but honestly can you believe ANYTHING that paper tells you? I am at the point that I believe the whole paper to be one big editorial section. It is no wonder that they are going under.

Family update:

I bought a small sailboat this spring and I really am loving it. It is a Laser sailboat that I found on craigslist. No it is not a J-22, but we don't live on Minnetonka yet! I have been out several times and capsized twice. We have the only sailboat on our lake thus far, but once I stop tipping over, people might think that it looks fun and get their own.

We are still looking for a house. We went to an estate sale today at our dream house. Unfourtunetly it was sold within the family, so we didn't even have a chance. So if anyone know of an awesome house at less than awesome-house prices, let me know!

Greta is in the Last week of her Summer School, and is all signed up for Dance Lessons in July.

Charlie is equally adorable and whiney (almost as much as me).

Liz is still perfect.

My beautiful new niece

Weighing in at 6lbs 3oz and 18.5 in; Charlotte Elizabeth!

Some photos...